Let's Go to Vegas, Baby!

I'll bet most of you had no idea I was a closet slot machine freak. Yeah, yeah, I know. But seriously, the first time I played a slot machine was on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, when I was on a business trip way back in....whew. I don't know, 1997? It was fun! $20 worth of quarters netted me $150 more after only about 20 minutes, and I walked away a happy woman. Key phrase there: "I walked away". That's the tough part.

Over the years, I've tried my luck elsewhere, only sporadically, though. After all, we still have a mortgage payment. Once we went to Vegas in 2005 and I limited myself to $80 $120, which I promptly lost so fast I wondered if I'd been robbed. And I've visited Charlestown Races and Slots a few times...with my parents, no less. Appallingly, my parents have decided that slot machines are FUN! But that's another blog entry! Once I went with them to Charlestown, I took and lost about $100, but the next time I went, still pregnant with Jonathan, I took in $20 and walked out with over $300.

Now, I know and you know that in the long run, you can't beat the slot machines. How many Vegas travel guides and gambling manuals have been written about this very topic? But that doesn't keep people from trying, those of us, say, without mortgage payments...oh, WAIT, you mean, some people play these things even when they're in debt? No. Don't believe it.
ANYWAY....I was lamenting to my mom the other day how wouldn't it be cool if you could play these things just for fun - you wouldn't have to use your own money and it wouldn't matter if you won or lost. Her take? Well, what fun would that be? But a day later, she calls me and tells me I can play online....for free. You just log in and pull that little handle click that little mouse to your heart's content. Thanks, Mom.

So, tonight, for fun, I tried it. I tried it because I literally have 5 pounds of green beans that my husband's co-worker brought him from his garden, and I spent an hour this morning cleaning them and snapping them, and tonight, I'm parboiling them, getting them ready for the freezer. So I had a little time on my hands while I waited for this gigantic pot to boil...twice. So what's the harm in a little slot action? Well, for one, it is truly kind of boring. I mean, yeah, you're not losing your money, but guess what? You're not winning any either, and that's half, well, heck, ALL the fun! And for two, YOU WIN TOO MUCH! In 20 minutes, I went from $75 (credits) to almost $2000 - now I KNOW this wouldn't happen in real life. Trouble is, Joe Nimrod and Sally Idiot don't know this. They'll sit there and watch the numbers climb and start thinking "Well ain't I one lucky dawg, I think I'll go play slots for real!" And then you and I know what happens...they'll trot themselves out to Vegas where the bank-account emptying will begin. Somewhere behind freeslots.com is some big name like Harrah's or Tropicana, take my word for it. Have these people nothing better to do?

So I guess my free online slots experience wasn't so great after all. It did pass the time while boiling beans....but unfortunately that's about all I can say about it!