Sigh.

Hate it. HATE IT when I don't have time to blog. When I don't have time to really do much of anything, but have to prioritize one thing over the other, like changing Matthew's sheets after he wet through his diaper last night, or say, putting some semblance of dinner on the table. So what happens to the blog? Nothing. It sits there, waiting for me to update it. And it never gets done. And I really hate that.

Considered quitting. Blogging, that is. But then I remembered why I started it in the first place, and that was, to keep a record for myself, a journal if you will of things I want to remember, places we've been, cute things the kids have done or said, meals or cool foods I have made or tried, and of course some photos here and there. I find myself going back to read my own posts from a year ago and find that I love reminiscing about this and that. So for now, I'll try to keep up with it. Sorry for the long breaks here and there - life is so busy these days!

And these days, I've been thinking about Jonathan's upcoming birthday in March - he's going to be 5 years old! 5! He's getting so big, so tall. And everyday I see changes in him and am simply amazed at how big and grown up he seems all the sudden. A few examples:

One night at dinner, I was trying to get Matthew to eat with his fork. He still prefers his fingers! But on that night, he was doing pretty well, and Jonathan took notice. "Look Mommy! Matthew's eating with utensils!" Utensils? What the heck is that? Is that a word a 4 year old should know? And a few nights later, I was working while the boys, all of them, were horsing around in the living room, playing chase and "Boo", etc... All the sudden, I hear a bloodcurdling scream from Jonathan who had just been startled out of his wits by his daddy coming around the corner....and Jonathan exclaims "Daddy, you startled me! I'm flabbergasted!" Ummm, Jonathan, are you like going to school in the London countryside? What is with you?

And then the other day, I'm on the phone with my mom. Jonathan was in and out of the room, seemingly engrossed in playing with his cars. At one point, mom and I were discussing someone who had passed away, at least, I thought that's who we were discussing. Anyway, when it was fairly clear that mom and I were talking about two different people, I tried to clear it up and say to her "Are we talking about so-and-so? I thought she D-I-E-D?" - spelling out the word I didn't feel like explaining at the moment, even though I wasn't even sure at that point Jonathan was even listening. Immediately, the kid looks up from his cars and says to me "Mommy are you trying to say "Died"? I'm like - "I sure am, buddy, do you know what that means?" He told me yes, he knew what it meant, it meant that you don't grow anymore. Well, I guess there's a little more to it than that, but for now, that explanation was good enough for me.

Jonathan, you're ahead of yourself in years, son. Can you slow down a bit and wait for Mommy to catch up?