Sunday, January 6, 2008

Ohhhhh, The Stench

If I could make my blog background brown for the day, I would. I mean, I guess I could, but it's not worth it. Let's talk poop. Yesterday, we all went to Morgantown. Yeah, that's Morgantown West Virginia. Close to our home, great shopping, neat restaurants. We wanted to get on the road for the day, maybe find some after-Christmas sales.
After shopping, we hit Cheddars for a late lunch. All was fine until we went to leave, and I smelled....well, Matthew. I grabbed a diaper and the wipes and headed into the ladies room, leaving Mark with Jonathan, the lunch bill and all our jackets and sippy cups and various paraphanalia. Get in the bathroom - it's a blowout. ALL OVER the inside of his cute little overalls. And what Non-Mother of the Year doesn't have extra clothing today? Yup, that would've been ME. So, after a massive clean-up effort (involving one very kind stranger who took pity on me) we carried our child outside in 30-some rainy degrees with no pants, and put him in the car seat and covered him with a coat. No harm done. Cranked the heat, headed toward home and he fell asleep within minutes. And that's when the REAL fun began.
Jonathan had been napping a little - and when he woke up, he was wiggling and told us he had to GO. Well, we're doing 70 in a 70 with no exit in sight, so Mark grabs the coffee cup from this morning and leans back over the back of the seat and holds it for Jonathan. Pants come down, no pee coming out. Mark's like - "Um, Jonathan, are you going to go or not?" Well, hmmmm, actually he WAS going, just not pee! And trust me on this one, this was one FOUL poop. Not solid. At all. The smell was killer. And it was everywhere. Jonathan's hands. Jonathan's legs. The back of the seat, the floormat, the carseat, his underwear and pants, his shoes (after he'd stepped in it), his shirt wear he smeared his hands. I need not go on - you get the point. He's screaming. Matthew (now awake) is screaming. I'm not sure what my children ate, but something definitely did NOT agree with them.
I'll make a dreadful story not so dreadful - children got home and got right into a nice warm bath. I threw in a huge load of laundry. I scrubbed out the car to within an inch. And I love Febreeze. That stuff rocks.
Life with kids, I guess. It could've been worse, although I'm not sure how. Mark and I are able to chuckle over it, and it was less than 24 hours ago, so maybe we're getting used to this parenting gig. Finally. Only took us 4 years.
Anyway, just had to share that moment. Sorry I don't have any pictures!! ;-)


fishface said...

That is funny...mainly because it happened to someone else. Oh Rebecca, I feel for you. That is horrible. The best part is knowing that we aren't the only "rednecks" who have our kids (and husband) pee in empty cups/bottles in the car :)

Michelle B said...

Oh my gosh! Rebecca that is horrible! I told Dimitri all about it and he said "that sounds like something that would happen to us". I hope it doesn't. And I hope it never does for you again. This is one of those moments that you and your hubby will look back years from now and remember the night of poo.