There they are - my three boys. Doing what they do best! Today is actually Mark's birthday, but we celebrated last night because today's Ash Wednesday - and birthday cake on Ash Wednesday just didn't seem right! Mark didn't mind celebrating a day early - and the boys, apparently, are up for a party anytime!
After he was done putting all the candles on, he turned around and said "light the cake on fire, Mommy!" Ha! And for those of you who think my cake is ugly and plain, well, it is ugly. It sort of stuck in the pan a bit and I had to kind of patch it together a little. But plain? Well, maybe a little, but it's what Mark ordered - pound cake. He loves it. And it is fantastic - doesn't need a thing - icing, glaze, fruit topping - none of that would do anything at all for this cake, it is best eaten plain. Doesn't make for a very nice birthday cake presentation, but oh my, it is good! Any by the way, Jonathan straightened up that green candle and had them all perfect by the time he was done!
Did you ever wonder if you were doing enough for your kids? Teaching them enough? Involving them in enough life experiences? Taking them enough places, exposing them to enough new things? Sometimes I get these spasms of anxiety and I want to hop on the computer and go to an online bookstore and max out my credit card ordering every educational children's book there is. Or hop in the car and drive to every zoo, library, park, playground, swimming pool, children's theater and amusement park within a day's drive to make sure that not one thing is missed. I think of the possibility of sending Jonathan off to pre-school this Fall and wonder how I'm going to fit everything I want to do with him into the next 7 months. It's so scary - I've been waiting for this day - to see him more independent, to see him grow up, to see him dress himself and do things for himself, to see him help with housework....and it's happened, right before my eyes, and now it's like I'm on a giant slide and it's all going just way too fast. Whew - a wild ride, this parenting thing. I'm not ready to let my little boy face the world by himself - without me getting to see him every minute. How do I let him go and not be able to watch him learn new things? To not be able to see his little face light up at something new, something interesting, something he loves? To not know what he did for every second of every day? I hope the next 7 months cures me of this - I'm going to be the one sobbing on the schoolyard - not Jonathan!